Struggling Faith

When You Feel Like Your Job Has No Value In The Kingdom

How quickly I forget my true identity of who I am in Christ.

This morning I woke up and had this overwhelming sense of unworthiness. I wondered if all this writing business I’m attempting really encourages anyone. And I know I’m not alone in this sort of personal value intake.

Husband and I have talked about this before. He too has gone through phases where he feels like his job is...

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Marriage, Struggling Faith

Maybe Being Angry in your Marriage is a Good Thing

Sometimes I get so angry with my husband that I can’t even begin to explain what that anger feels like.

I get incredibly frustrated. Like I just want to pull my hair out. Literally. Anything to take my mind off how angry I am.

Sometimes I play these scenes over and over in my head. Husband comes home from work. I yell at him. He sort of yells and responds, we hug and forgive and then...

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Motherhood, Struggling Faith

To the Weary Mama

“Give me your heart, give me your song, sing it will all your might
Come to the Fountain and you can be satisfied.
There is a peace. There is a love you can get lost inside.
Come to the Fountain and let me hear you testify.”
                       ~NEEDTOBREATH “TESTIFY”

 

Motherhood is a gift that easily gets tainted. I know I am my own worst enemy most times. So much anxiety and...

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Struggling Faith

When I Can’t See His Truth

Coffee is gurgling from the corner of my kitchen. I need this cup this morning. Time has slipped through my grasp and I need to stop and breathe today. An overwhelming sigh escapes me. Coffee, Bible and journal in hand, I sit at my kitchen table that has seen many of my tears and fears on numerous ragged, dark early mornings.

As I open my journal, I am guilted by the gap in the dates marked...

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Struggling Faith

What Should I Tell My Children about Trump Being President?

This morning I woke up and dreaded looking at my phone. I knew no matter the winner, I was going to have to reconcile my feelings with the new President of the United States and God. If you would have asked me when I first started writing that I would be writing someday about “Donald Trump as President,” then I would have looked at you and laughed. But here we are. A day full of so many...

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Struggling Faith

What It’s Like to Grieve Without God

It took about fifteen minutes.

From seeing the sun just barely above the horizon, to it dipping down below the fields, signaling dusk, we buried my mother in fifteen minutes on an unusually cool summer evening in Kansas.

No service. No big memorial. Just her children and some grandchildren in a place special to my mother. Just how she wanted it.

It took about fifteen minutes.

Mom had been...

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Struggling Faith

Gratitude: Disarming the Lies We Tell Ourselves

It starts when I lay in bed for the night. I don’t know what it is about elusive sleep, but I seem to get most of my revelations when I can’t sleep. I started going through the ongoing list I like to title “ME.”

No one does the laundry for me.

No one cooks me dinner.

No one takes care of me, I mean right?

Clearly I do everything. I remember to feed the dogs. I remember...

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Struggling Faith, Writer Confessions

Dear Readers: I Haven’t Been Honest Lately

I woke up at about 1:00 AM with a long night of tossing and turning. The fan droned in the background as my thoughts just wouldn’t stop. I had started to feel it a few weeks back. This feeling of always being unsettled. It was like I couldn’t breathe. I was questioning myself. Worried about what people were thinking.

As someone who likes to write and put it out there on the Internet in...

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Struggling Faith

It’s Who He Is

That moment when you're totally engrossed in your own life. You feel like you're never going to get that check list marked off. You feel like you are always going going. You feel like you've lost a little bit of something trying to do it all. Maybe you've lost a little bit of time with your spouse. Time with your friends. Time with your kids. Lost a little bit of yourself.

I get these...

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Struggling Faith

Is it a Bible Day? Devotional Day? Does It Matter?

Heyo! It’s our first Devotion day! Gahhh! I am oozing with excitement to start this! I had been thinking about how I wanted our Monday Motivations to play out.. I kept thinking about devotionals and how we use them. Why we use them. Sometimes I grab my devotional on days when I need a quick “God pick me up.” Sounds weird, but you know what I mean, right?

Is it a Bible Day or a...

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