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A Love Letter to My Husband

Early in the morning, rolling in bed, fluffing the covers, your soapy husband scent tickles my nose and wakes me. I inhale the familiarity and think to myself, “home.” Comfort. My home is where my heart is and you hold my heart. You’ve held my heart since I was a teenage girl.

 

Sure we’ve had our movie romance moments with flower-filled gestures, candle-lit nights and poetic star gazing. Those are moments I have journaled about since we started dating during those innocent, simple times. Back when being a teenager and being in love meant putting our best foot forward.

And now, years later, I look at our son and my growing belly with our daughter. I look at myself and see a disheveled wife who is not the teenage girl you chose. I think to myself “when did I stop putting my best foot forward for you? When did I let the fire die down?”

 

I wonder when the flame faded and life became more real.

Was it when date night became a distant memory?

Was it after our first year of marriage when we realized that saying “I’m sorry” was one of the hardest lessons we’d have to learn as a young couple? Or was it learning to say “I forgive you”?

Was it when some of the lies we had told tried tearing through our vows to love each other for better or worst?

Was it when I desperately longed for you to change? For us to change?

I think of the many nights I laid in bed, crying, wishing for things to be different. I think of the days filled with anger and selfishness. I think of all the times when all I did was think of myself.

I think of when I would pull away from you, full of myself and you never strayed. You always moved towards me as I tried to move away from you.

 

A love letter to my husband

Sometimes I worry about the comfortableness that comes in a marriage. Sometimes I worry that when you feel like my roommate, we’ve lost something.

And then I see you wrestle with our son after a long day at work and I see a love so full and pure, that I can’t even remember what I was worried about.

I see you wrap your arms around me when grief hit me like a freight train.

I see your commitment to work and partner with me as we provide for our family and all doubt I had is lost in my new breath.

Instead of a list of all I want to change, all that is wrong, I have a list of all I hold dear and take for granted. A list of all you do that is right.

When I stop looking at my own selfish self and look to the One who created our union, I begin to see.

I begin to see love as more than just a flame we try to keep burning. Our efforts to keep something going are all in vain as we long for a selfish return.

It was when God shook my world and removed my earthly lens to see what love really is.

I saw love as a sacrifice. A sacrifice when the Creator extended his arms to this world and gave His son to die for me so he could have a pure relationship with me. So we could have a pure relationship together.

What a great calling God asks of us in our marriages: to give up ourselves and live a life that serves your spouse in love. A life that reflects God’s love for each one of us is to be captured in our marriages.

It was when my heart wrestled with this truth and realized it was I who needed to change. I needed to surrender my heart to the One who truly held it.

It was when I started seeing our marriage as a true partnership and not a “meship.”

It was when I started seeing you with God’s eyes.

It was when I started seeing myself with God’s eyes.

I don’t want us to have a marriage that thrives on a flame we are perpetually running in circles to keep burning.

I want us to have a marriage that stays the course, and moves towards the fire of truth, reminding us of where we’ve been and where we are going.

I remember the times when fighting over the dishes seemed so perilous. I think of the fights over who should do laundry. I think of the fights over when to start a family or when to buy a house. The sleepless nights filled with tossing and turning about our finances.

Conflicts that diminish as I start to look at you for who you really are. I see you as a flawed, forgiven child of the King and then I look in the mirror and see that our true identities are the same.

We are messy, sinful humans who live daily by the grace of God and we are on this journey called marriage together.

Things are not perfect and never will be but that’s OK. With each season comes hard times and challenges and what ifs, but with each season comes a step forward that we make together, side by side, holding hands. And on the other side of those challenges comes something that is sweeter than the aroma of a sacrifice.

On the other side comes a love that is real, raw, messy, and beautiful.

Peace,

Glo

 

Five Items Under $20 Your Kitchen Needs for the Holidays

The holidays are coming and the cooking is happening. Holiday party at the office, party at your neighbor’s, cookies for your son’s first grade class and the list goes on and we haven’t even hit December yet! Not to mention the annoyance that happens when I go to make those mentioned cookies for my son and my husband did not clean off the sheet from his pizza from the night before. Thankfully, I got a hack for that. Read more below, you’ll thank me later.

Find an awesome recipe online, but it calls for a food processor? I don’t know about you, but food processors are a tiny investment, so many folks don’t have one and you need to make cookies NOW. Don’t worry, I got a tip for that too to help you “process” that dough.

I am always looking for ways to make my life easier in the kitchen. When it comes to managing food for your household and you’re on a budget, we all need the little help we can get. I thought you’d like to see some of my favorite kitchen items I use ALL. THE. FREAKING. TIME. And guess what? They’re all mostly $20 or LESS. So without further ado, here are some items you are going to want to check out to make your kitchen life a little easier this time of year.

(This post contains affiliate links which means if you click through then I may get a small commission to aid in my coffee and writing addiction. Thanks 🙂

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Silicone Cooking Sheets
I seriously do not know how I survived this long without these genius cooking sheets. I can put the stickiest cookies known to man on these puppies and when they are done baking, the crumbs and crusted goods just wipe right off with the dish rag. Forget crusted cheese pizza you have to scrape off with some heavy duty elbow grease! Forget worrying about your baked chicken sticking to the pan. No joke. These sheets alone will save you time in the kitchen. Dare I say, they may make you WANT to bake cookies…

Handheld Mixer (Beaters)
I didn’t even know what a food processor was until a few years ago. Yes, I lived in a box, apparently. I guess I heard of it but it seemed like a mystery to me. I remember reading recipes that called for a food processor and I just shrugged my shoulders moving on to the next recipe. I remember watching Martha Bakes and she used one to make some cookie dough. It dawned on me that I had been using hand-held beaters for as long as I can remember to basically do any job a food process does (within reason, obviously you can’t chop carrots with beaters!). My tip for you is to have these on hand for that recipe that requires mixing with a food processor. They take up little space and are awesome to have for a quick go-to in your kitchen to speed up the mixing process. Your Thanksgiving snickerdoodle cookies will thank you. And your friends will love that homemade cheesecake you whipped up with these bad boys.


Hand Blender
If you have been dying to make some homemade soup, or need any sort of quick blending, pureeing of any kind, then you seriously need to consider having one of these in your home for the holidays. And better yet, I bet you use it throughout the year too. I use mine to make baby food, a quick yogurt smoothie, or a yummy berry glaze for my waffles. This little guy is so versatile, don’t be quick to shrug it off as a waste of space. It will help you make the yummiest broccoli and cheese soup. Trust me.

Handheld Slicer & Dicer (with storage container attached)
I absolutely LOVE this and I would guess this is another one you’ll use more than just for the holidays. I HATE chopping onions for a wintry chili. I can’t stand cutting up carrots for stew. I just want it done quick and fast. I received one of these as a Christmas gift from my mom a few years back and I don’t know what I did without it. The clean up is easy. I can move it around wherever I need it in the kitchen because there are no chords. This is definitely one of my staple kitchen items that gets used even more than during the holidays!

Pan Organizers
I don’t know about you, but during the holiday season I tend to cook more. Shoot, during the fall and winter alone I find our stove and oven use triples! It’s during these times when I grunt and groan because pans and sheets don’t get put back where I’d like and I can never seem to find that one small skillet I love to use for breakfast sausage. This feeling of angst increases during the holidays. There’s no time like the present to make your kitchen as accessible as possible so you can enjoy baking without the searching and groaning. I bought one of these a few years back and it has made grabbing pans so much easier. I bought this one too to organize my cookie sheets and muffins pans. It’s fabulous.

Here are a quick few more of my favorites in the kitchen to cut down on annoyance, because hey, wine can only do so much 😉 and to help cut down on the budget if I need freeze or reuse items.

Extras
silicone muffin cups–because you can freeze any liquid in these and reuse them for all your baking needs!
2 cup pyrex with lid–becuase measureing 1 and 3/4 cup never felt easier.
silicone ice cube trays–because I’m addicted to freezing leftover turkey, chicken, or beef broth to reuse for later.
cooling rack–because I get tired of using parchment paper to cool cookies
gallon freezer bags–did I mention I have a freeze-the-leftovers problem??

What about you? What are some of your favorite, staple items in your kitchen that are fairly inexpensive? Tell use below!
Peace,
Glo