Grief

To the Grieving Mama on Mother’s Day

I keep cards. I have this box under my bed that’s full of memories and notes from friends and family who have given me wishes on special occasions. I picked up this habit from my mother. She always kept cards we kids gave her.

When she passed away we found many boxes and containers full of cards and memorabilia that she kept through the years. Cards with our names scribbled on them from...

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Best of, Grief

That Time I Started Crying in Chik-Fil-A

What a busy day. First the bank. Then Wal-Mart, followed by the grocery store. Before I knew it, we were ready for lunch. We ended up at my favorite spot, Chik Fil A. My husband always wonders what's so great about Chik Fil A. Why do people love to go there? Why do I love to go there?

I love their spicy chicken sandwich.

Bustling and chatting greeted us at the door as we went to stand...

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To those grieving this holiday season
Best of, Grief, Struggling Faith

To Those Grieving This Holiday

This morning I woke at about  3:30 and just couldn't go back to sleep. I didn't wake thinking about food getting cooked, family gathering and laughing. I didn't think about Black Friday shopping or the crazy chaos of the day.

I didn't think about anything other than my mother.

My heart was so heavy I could hardly contain myself. I realized that I was starting to dread the start of the...

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Struggling Faith

What It’s Like to Grieve Without God

It took about fifteen minutes.

From seeing the sun just barely above the horizon, to it dipping down below the fields, signaling dusk, we buried my mother in fifteen minutes on an unusually cool summer evening in Kansas.

No service. No big memorial. Just her children and some grandchildren in a place special to my mother. Just how she wanted it.

It took about fifteen minutes.

Mom had been...

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Grief, Poetic Mama

Empty Grief

I forgot to call upon Your name.

I couldn’t see out of this bottomless pit.
My grief felt empty. I felt alone.
Blind. Numb. Empty.

I couldn’t see out of this bottomless pit.
Missing you more than I ever thought possible.
Blind. Numb. Empty.
Wishing I had spent those times with you when I said no.

Missing you more than I ever thought possible.
Wondering if you knew how much I...

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