Heyo and welcome!
You’re stuck. You don’t understand how or why you keep having the same arguments with your husband. Maybe you just got married and already you feel the tension building. Maybe you’ve been married for years but that small nagging feelings comes and goes and you don’t understand why.
You don’t understand why you find yourself arguing with your husband about the same things over and over; with time it’s the same song, just a different tune.
It’s not that your marriage is in deep trouble necessarily, right? I mean you’re both Christians, you both love each other and for the most part, you keep moving forward in the everyday that makes a marriage.
Things go well for a while and you both seem happy.
You just finished reading a great marriage book and are applying the new principles you learned. You feel like you can take on anything together.
But there’s that tugging on your heart that sometimes turns into a storm and you find yourself stuck.
He’s not speaking your love language. He doesn’t show you love enough. You’re not communicating. You’re yelling more than you care to admit. What happened? You were doing great but before you know it, you’re yelling about where to eat dinner with an anger that you don’t know where it came from.
Let me tell you that you’re not alone.
Let me tell you that there are thousands of women in a “good” marriage that find themselves caught in the midst of a deep battle within their hearts. It’s a battle that keeps us from experiencing God’s grace in our marriages. Not because God is withholding it, but because we are keeping ourselves from receiving it and showing it to our spouses.
I know these feelings all too well. And I’ve learned a powerful simple truth:
Finding grace in my marriage, for my husband and with myself is not something that gets fixed. It’s not something that goes away because all the marriage books said they would.
Finding grace in my marriage is about seeing the bigger picture and realizing that my husband and I are evolving as individuals and as a couple; this means we go through shifting seasons of highs and lows and guess what? THAT’S OK.
Going through different seasons means we have constant opportunities to grow in grace and in God’s word.
It’s means when we feel stuck we can get unstuck. It means when I start to notice a tiny twinge of resentment build up towards my husband, I can call it by name and fight to get unstuck.
And when I mess up and fail and yell more than I want to admit, I can come to the Father with my ragged heart, knowing that He’s been holding it all along just waiting for me to surrender.
We can come together, here on this blog and share our hearts, knowing that someone else has been there too. Knowing that lows are OK in our marriage because the lows are opportunities to come out on top.
It’s the everyday moments that help make a marriage. Finding grace in those moments can help us get unstuck.
If you want to help during those moments when you feel stuck or when you feel like you can’t see the grace in those moments, then you can sign up for my series “When Love Languages Collide: 5 Practices to Help You Get Unstuck in Your Marriage.”
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(Don’t forget to check out some my most read posts about marriage by clicking here.)
Remember you are not alone in all the feelings that can come and go in your marriage. Many of us come together here to be reminded of God’s truth and promises he has for our marriages. Won’t you join me?
BELIEFS & DISCLAIMER
Everything I write on this blog is from my own personal experience and based on my journey in my relationship with Christ. I do not claim to be an expert in marital counseling. I do claim to write from my heart in what I believe God has called me to share with other wives.