,

A Love Letter to My Husband

Early in the morning, rolling in bed, fluffing the covers, your soapy husband scent tickles my nose and wakes me. I inhale the familiarity and think to myself, “home.” Comfort. My home is where my heart is and you hold my heart. You’ve held my heart since I was a teenage girl.

 

Sure we’ve had our movie romance moments with flower-filled gestures, candle-lit nights and poetic star gazing. Those are moments I have journaled about since we started dating during those innocent, simple times. Back when being a teenager and being in love meant putting our best foot forward.

And now, years later, I look at our son and my growing belly with our daughter. I look at myself and see a disheveled wife who is not the teenage girl you chose. I think to myself “when did I stop putting my best foot forward for you? When did I let the fire die down?”

 

I wonder when the flame faded and life became more real.

Was it when date night became a distant memory?

Was it after our first year of marriage when we realized that saying “I’m sorry” was one of the hardest lessons we’d have to learn as a young couple? Or was it learning to say “I forgive you”?

Was it when some of the lies we had told tried tearing through our vows to love each other for better or worst?

Was it when I desperately longed for you to change? For us to change?

I think of the many nights I laid in bed, crying, wishing for things to be different. I think of the days filled with anger and selfishness. I think of all the times when all I did was think of myself.

I think of when I would pull away from you, full of myself and you never strayed. You always moved towards me as I tried to move away from you.

 

A love letter to my husband

Sometimes I worry about the comfortableness that comes in a marriage. Sometimes I worry that when you feel like my roommate, we’ve lost something.

And then I see you wrestle with our son after a long day at work and I see a love so full and pure, that I can’t even remember what I was worried about.

I see you wrap your arms around me when grief hit me like a freight train.

I see your commitment to work and partner with me as we provide for our family and all doubt I had is lost in my new breath.

Instead of a list of all I want to change, all that is wrong, I have a list of all I hold dear and take for granted. A list of all you do that is right.

When I stop looking at my own selfish self and look to the One who created our union, I begin to see.

I begin to see love as more than just a flame we try to keep burning. Our efforts to keep something going are all in vain as we long for a selfish return.

It was when God shook my world and removed my earthly lens to see what love really is.

I saw love as a sacrifice. A sacrifice when the Creator extended his arms to this world and gave His son to die for me so he could have a pure relationship with me. So we could have a pure relationship together.

What a great calling God asks of us in our marriages: to give up ourselves and live a life that serves your spouse in love. A life that reflects God’s love for each one of us is to be captured in our marriages.

It was when my heart wrestled with this truth and realized it was I who needed to change. I needed to surrender my heart to the One who truly held it.

It was when I started seeing our marriage as a true partnership and not a “meship.”

It was when I started seeing you with God’s eyes.

It was when I started seeing myself with God’s eyes.

I don’t want us to have a marriage that thrives on a flame we are perpetually running in circles to keep burning.

I want us to have a marriage that stays the course, and moves towards the fire of truth, reminding us of where we’ve been and where we are going.

I remember the times when fighting over the dishes seemed so perilous. I think of the fights over who should do laundry. I think of the fights over when to start a family or when to buy a house. The sleepless nights filled with tossing and turning about our finances.

Conflicts that diminish as I start to look at you for who you really are. I see you as a flawed, forgiven child of the King and then I look in the mirror and see that our true identities are the same.

We are messy, sinful humans who live daily by the grace of God and we are on this journey called marriage together.

Things are not perfect and never will be but that’s OK. With each season comes hard times and challenges and what ifs, but with each season comes a step forward that we make together, side by side, holding hands. And on the other side of those challenges comes something that is sweeter than the aroma of a sacrifice.

On the other side comes a love that is real, raw, messy, and beautiful.

Peace,

Glo

 

(Visited 451 times, 1 visits today)
20 replies
  1. Cindy hobbs
    Cindy hobbs says:

    Love the truth and life lessons. You done a great job.most of us would like to say this .but we leave the writing to you.im happy for you ,

    Reply
  2. Marva | SunSparkleShine
    Marva | SunSparkleShine says:

    Gloryanna, this is absolutely beautiful. Reading this reminded me of all that I have to be grateful for in my marriage as well. Sure life is messy and raw, yet beautiful and real. When we keep our eyes on God as you’re doing, our perspectives change tremendously.
    Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
    Happy Valentine’s Day!

    Reply
  3. Ayanna
    Ayanna says:

    This is awesome Glo! So real, so transparent, and so inspiring! You summed up married life so beautifully when you said,”On the other side comes a love that is real, raw, messy, and beautiful.” Love this because God is love!

    Reply
    • gloryannaboge
      gloryannaboge says:

      Thanks, Ayanna! It means a lot that you came by to read AND comment today. I love reading about your marriage insights too so hearing your encouraging words means a lot!

  4. Patricia
    Patricia says:

    Oh this is so beautiful and so real!! It moves me because I can relate. It is a partnership not a ‘meship’, and I pray I can continue too see him with more Godly eyes.

    Reply
    • gloryannaboge
      gloryannaboge says:

      It can be pretty stinkin hard to get off the “meship” and I find that I get off of it, then get back on, off then on. Ugh. Thank you for your kind words too. 🙂

  5. Madison Weaver
    Madison Weaver says:

    This was absolutely beautiful and so true! Our marriages can be so messy and hard at times, but they are absolutely worth it. Marriage is one of my biggest blessings. Thank you so much for sharing your heart!

    Reply
    • gloryannaboge
      gloryannaboge says:

      Thanks for your kindness, Kelly! Sometimes I wonder about how vulnerable to be but the truth is I just have to follow where I feel God is leading me. Thanks for stopping by!

  6. Coppelia
    Coppelia says:

    I don’t know why this moved me so much … almost to tears! I think probably because I’m so thankful for my husband, but so often and all of our busyness, I don’t feel like I am loving and honoring him as I should. Thank you for the encouragement to seek God first. I know as I do that, thru His love, I’ll love my husband better!

    Reply
  7. Christine Carter
    Christine Carter says:

    Ah…. SO beautiful! Such authentic love you share here- one I can relate to from the deepest parts of my heart. My husband and my 16 year anniversary is TODAY. I loved all the details you shared in how love transpires into something so pure and unconditional- so full of grace and generosity. I truly believe this is the love God intended for us in marriage. Sacrificial and edifying- bound by truth and Christ. Oh my friend, aren’t we blessed?

    Your pictures are breathtaking. <3

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *