To those grieving this holiday season
Struggling Faith

To Those Grieving This Holiday

This morning I woke at about  3:30 and just couldn't go back to sleep. I didn't wake thinking about food getting cooked, family gathering and laughing. I didn't think about Black Friday shopping or the crazy chaos of the day. I didn't think about anything other than my mother. My heart was so heavy I could hardly contain myself. I realized that I was starting to dread the start of the...
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Struggling Faith

What Should I Tell My Children about Trump Being President?

This morning I woke up and dreaded looking at my phone. I knew no matter the winner, I was going to have to reconcile my feelings with the new President of the United States and God. If you would have asked me when I first started writing that I would be writing someday about “Donald Trump as President,” then I would have looked at you and laughed. But here we are. A day full of so many...
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When husband feels like a roommate
Marriage

When Your Spouse Starts to Feel Like a Roommate

Exhaling loudly, I let myself fall onto our couch. I scan the room for the monitor to check if Mike is still praying with our toddler upstairs. I glance in the kitchen and see the dishes that have yet piled high again. The dogs are whining, needing to be let outside. I roll my eyes, annoyed that no one thought to let them out before dinner. It’s the end of the day and my patience has...
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Struggling Faith

What It’s Like to Grieve Without God

It took about fifteen minutes.

From seeing the sun just barely above the horizon, to it dipping down below the fields, signaling dusk, we buried my mother in fifteen minutes on an unusually cool summer evening in Kansas.

No service. No big memorial. Just her children and some grandchildren in a place special to my mother. Just how she wanted it.

It took about fifteen minutes.

Mom had been...

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Gratitude, Struggling Faith

Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn

Keep the earth below my feet For all my sweat, my blood runs weak Let me learn from where I have been Keep my eyes to serve and my hands to learn Keep my eyes to serve and my hands to learn”                 -Mumford and Sons “Below My Feet” Rolling over in bed, my eyes squinting open, I can see it’s still dark out. I inhale my husband’s soapy, snuggly morning...
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Poetic Mama

Empty Grief

I forgot to call upon Your name. I couldn’t see out of this bottomless pit. My grief felt empty. I felt alone. Blind. Numb. Empty. I couldn’t see out of this bottomless pit. Missing you more than I ever thought possible. Blind. Numb. Empty. Wishing I had spent those times with you when I said no. Missing you more than I ever thought possible. Wondering if you knew how much I...
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People Are Awesome

People Are Awesome….So Why Do We Focus on the Bad?

I wrote a post not too long ago that many of you enjoyed because you were reminded of good people that you see frequently who work in the fast food industry. (If you missed People Are Awesome #tacobell, check it out!) With the chaos that continues to go on in our world today, I am reminded of people who are awesome in our world. What? How could I be reminded if all we see is the evil in the...
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